Personal Well-being Centre Forums

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Montaigne

Courage does not mean being fearless, but being able to do what you want to do despite fear. So, feeling fear is not cowardly – how you deal with it is what makes a difference. In fact, fear is often useful – in gives us extra energy to escape a potentially dangerous situation, or prevents us from doing something that may be harmful. Unfortunately, fears can be easily misplaced – we sometimes feel afraid even when there is no need for it! So, it is important to be able to separate realistic and unrealistic fears and be able to control this feeling. Such a mastery of fear can be called courage. Don’t forget that you have already been courageous many times. Think about all these things that you feared in the past. If you could won then, you can won again!

Uncovering fear: this exercise can help you locate a real trigger of fear and decide whether it is realistic or unrealistic. Think about something that you are afraid of and then ask yourself ‘Why?’. For example, if you fear getting into water, your answer to the ‘why’ question may be ‘because I may drown.’ Then, ask yourself why you think that you may drown. Is it realistic? If not, you may continue exploring why you have an unrealistic fear. Did you have some bad experience in the past? Did you hear some scary stories about it or did you know somebody else who felt the same?

A few things can help you develop courage:
· Learn more about that what you are afraid of (did you know that without spiders we would be swamped by insects, or that the airplane is the safest mode of transport after underground?)
· Be determined, really wanting to do what you want to do despite fear (why does it matter?)
· Relax. Being relaxed and being afraid don’t go together.
· Be positive, trust yourself.
· Try to see a funny side of the situation, make a joke of it.
· You can’t feel two different emotions at the same time so love, joy, or even anger can help.
· Go through the experience with somebody else (e.g. ask a friend to get to water with you).
· Don’t let your imagination run wild – what we can imagine is usually far worse that what it is.

Face fear: imagine a situation that triggers fear reaction. Observe it, play with it, change it, move away or get closer to it. You can also try some of the above suggestions. Repeat this until you get to the point that you are comfortable. Don’t forget, no harm can be done in imagination!

After fear: if you go through a fearful situation make some time to think about it after. Was your fear realistic or unrealistic? How do you feel now? If you acted courageously don’t forget to congratulate yourself and remember how it feel being courageous! It may help next time.